I decided that this little blog in its tiny corner of the internet is going to be the place where I say the things I otherwise wouldn’t. Not that I don’t keep it real everywhere else, but there are some places that don’t really allow depth and are far too public. This space though, is mine, and I feel like it’s a decent spot where I can truly explain myself.
When it comes to friendships, I tend to see people for their potential and somewhat ignore their reality. I realized that there’s a difference between giving people the benefit of the doubt and allowing toxic humans to remain and reap the benefits of our friendship. So over the last couple of years, I have removed horrible and narcissistic people from my life. Ended friendships, stopped doing business, unfollow from all social media, etc.
It’s been fucking glorious.
Now, the only people I fully give my time, friendship and energy to, are people who deserve it. These people at their core are just genuinely good people and I’m so proud to just know them. I don’t ever really ask or need much of my friends, but I know if I need them, they will be there. I haven’t always been able to say that about people, so this feels great.
I suppose when you remove horrible people from your life, they’re going to be bitter and do what they do best — be horrible. And the thing about horrible people is that if you try to tell the world how horrible they are– YOU end up looking bad. Like really. Recently I’ve seen some people just going OFF on their Facebook page, trying to give their side of a story. Trying to tell the world all about the bullshit they have been going through because of someone else. Making their case and just laying it alllll out there.
And they look insane. They look like they are mentally unstable and airing their dirty laundry in a public forum. Even if they are 100% telling the truth. Even if you believe them and feel bad for them. It’s all just so…embarrassing.
So when a friend sent me some screenshots of someone I no longer associate with, who decided to take public shots at me and my business– I was like, ummmm what? I wanted to just go off and write a 32 point list about what makes them an absolutely trash human being. I wanted to outline all of their lies, fakeness and bullshit to the world. I wanted to reach out and let them know that I know what they are doing and who they really are.
But then I realized, there is no way to do that and come out unscathed. I also realized, that more and more people are seeing her for who she truly is without my help. And so, I did nothing. Sure, I might have commiserated with a few people and laughed at her for thinking she could even remotely compare herself to me or anything I’ve built. But for the most part, I went about my very busy and growing business. I celebrated some amazing accomplishments. I reconnected with a friend I hadn’t spoken to since last summer because though things had became a bit toxic, she is actually a good person.
And even in the tiny little world of the internet, I went back to pretending that this horrible, sad little person doesn’t exist. Because in my world she doesn’t. She’s a non-factor. And it’s actually sort of flattering/amusing I’m such a factor in hers.
So my friends, I know it’s infuriating to let bad people get away with bad behavior, but know that they really won’t. People will begin to see through the cracks of their facade. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but they will. Instead, channel that energy into the good people in your life that actually matter. Let it fuel your success. Let it drive you to be the best possible, kindest version of yourself.
That’s how you win ❤