Self-Love Sunday Vol 7

The Nothing

One of my favorite movies growing up was The Neverending Story. I loved the fantastical world it was set in with all its creatures. I cried when Artex died. I wanted to ride on Falcor’s back and wear a headdress like the Childlike Empress. Then I rewatched it as an adult which of course was disappointing like most childhood movies tend to be, but through the adult lens I was able understand the movie’s villain in a way I hadn’t before. The Nothing.

“A hole would be something. Nah, it was Nothing. And it got bigger and bigger.”

“It’s the emptiness that’s left. It’s like a despair, destroying this world.”

Oh man, do I understand that villain. For me, The Nothing tends to creep in without me realizing it. It isn’t sad, it isn’t angry, it’s not even painful– it’s just empty. It’s lying around doing nothing, with zero desire to do anything. It’s not feeling a purpose, not just for career or whatever, but for my existence in general. It takes away the taste for doing the things I usually enjoy. It’s all just blahhhh.

I know there are probably many of you who can’t relate at all to this, and I am incredibly grateful for that. Anxiety and depression are things I don’t wish on anyone. But there is a very strong chance you know someone who battles The Nothing. This person may never reach out for help. You may never know or understand what they need because they most likely won’t even know themselves. Truth be told, it’s not your responsibility to drag us out of it, but I promise you a simple “I’m here for you” or “How are you really doing today friend?” can go a very long way.

I’m sharing this because after returning from Bali I crashed pretty hard, which after such an intense high from amazing travel, I think it’s pretty normal, but to me it felt especially crushing. So much so, that I still feel like I’m shaking it off. But rather than shut out the people who care, I have been talking about it. I have let others know what a weird place I’m in.

Sometimes that’s what self-love is. Sometimes it’s just opening the door a crack to let others in, rather than keeping it slammed shut.

We all go through stuff. Sometimes it’s a result of something out of our control that has happened to us and sometimes it’s our brains lying to us. Either way, you owe it to yourself to open the door and get yourself taken care of.

Hugs & bootie slaps,

Chrystal Rose

Read the next installment of Self-Love Sunday here.

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