Turning the Corner
I think I am turning a corner. For the first time in a long time it seems like I will actually be able to crawl up and out and that feels pretty good.
After my last email I’ve had people ask why I feel the need to share so much now (which I’ve explained), or have been accused of “airing my dirty laundry.” I’ve had people check on me because they were worried (thank you for that) and most importantly some of you have reached out to thank me for sharing it. And really, that’s all that matters to me. I think there’s a difference between an emotionally unstable rant, and intentional, authentic sharing. I feel pretty confident I am doing the latter.
Anyhow, I’ve been doing some thinking. About this year and how hard it has been, and about my goals for next year. I had received an oracle card reading several months ago and she noted how I have been hiding. She knew that I prefer to work hard behind the scenes of my business and wasn’t super comfortable being the face of it. She told me I needed to get over that and that I needed to do it quick because THIS year is a special one and by next year it will be too late.
I knew showing myself more to the world was something I needed to do, but I still have been hesitant. All the while worrying that I am going to miss out on this epically magical year we are in, if I can’t just get it together.
Then I saw a meme on a friend’s page and it clicked:
When you’re in a dark place, you sometimes tend to think you’ve been buried.
Perhaps you’ve been planted.
I’ve read it before, I’ve seen it before, but this time I read it with a different level of clarity and could actually feel it. It spoke to me. It spoke of my growth. I realized that this woman wasn’t necessarily telling me I had to accomplish a massive list before the end of the year.
She was telling me to bloom.
I began to think more about what I want next year to look like. I realized I have always poured myself into things outside myself. I’ve gone all in on other people’s businesses. I’ve taken huge risks and worked tirelessly in my own business. But I’ve never gone 100% all in on myself. Funny because 8 years ago after a breakup I taped a fortune from a fortune cookie to my laptop that says “Your best investment is in yourself.”
I think I’m ready to do the damn thing.
Big hugs & bootie slaps,
Read the next installment of Self-Love Sunday here.