You Can’t Go Back
One of the things I hear the most from women in regards to their bodies is that they want to get “back” to a body they once had. Sometimes this body is a teenage body, sometimes it’s a pre-baby body and sometimes it’s simply an ‘I used to look this way when I was killing it’ body before they fell off and gained a bunch of weight.
“I used to be so skinny/fit/in shape” & “I want my body back” are phrases I hear all the time. And usually all of this is laced with desperation, frustration, defeat or all 3.
Boy, do I know what that’s like because I spent the majority of my late teens and all of my 20s yoyo dieting.
It’s also no secret that over the course of last year I had gained around 15lbs. Only this time it was different from those yoyo days. This time whatever level of fitness I had saved me a bit from putting on ALL fat. Not only that, my mindset had developed enough to keep me from completely freaking out about it. That’s not to say I was 100% comfortable with it, because I wasn’t. (Definitely had a meltdown or two because I barely fit in my clothes.)
When I finally got my shit together I thought back to my fittest times. This time instead of focusing on how I looked at those times, I thought about how I felt. Over the zillions of times I have lost weight over the years, I tended to feel hungry and obsessed. I didn’t really enjoy where I was at, so it was no wonder I just kind of fell off. Not to mention I used to have zero understanding of balance and flexibility so it was all or nothing for me.
The times where I have felt my best are completely different. During those times I ate well but with flexibility, had a solid fitness routine and subsequently looked great. When I think about going back to those times, it’s no longer going back to a certain look, it’s going back to a certain feeling.
You will never have your teenage, pre-baby or pre-weight gain body back simply because in the time that has passed, your body has changed physiologically. It simply can never be the same. Putting your effort into something that may or may not even be possible for you now is a losing battle. This also goes for wanting a body part to look like someone else’s, or deciding you want a body part to look a certain way you even can’t be sure your body is even capable of.
I’m not saying you can’t want your body to look a certain way. Hell, you could end up with an even better physique than before. What I am saying, is that if you focus on a feeling rather than some ideal image you have in your mind, not only will you get the body you want, but you’ll also feel amazing in ALL respects, not just how you look. (You’ll also be more likely to hang onto it this time.)
As for me, I am definitely chasing that feeling and it is going so much better for me than chasing a body ever has.
I’d love to hear back how you feel on this subject!
Hugs & Self love booty slaps,
Read the next installment of Self-Love Sunday here.