Back to School
I think it seems to most that I share everything (and to some I overshare), but I really don’t. More often than not, I am grinding away in the dark and will share when I have everything ready or at the very least, bundled in a presentable package. I like to know something will definitely come to fruition before I over promise/under deliver.
For the last 4 months, I have been back in school to finish my degree. Most people are under the assumption that I already have it. But I don’t. I generally just skirt around the subject. I am usually asked what I went to school for, and I answer marketing and leave it there.
10 years ago, I came to Charlotte with a shattered heart and about a week into my final 3 classes. I was too sad to focus on school and one of my classes required I get involved with a local organization, which not knowing a soul here, I just didn’t feel comfortable. So I dropped them, telling myself I’d get back to it when the time was right.
Since then I have learned that the time to pursue anything you desire, will never be right. You just have to jump in and figure it out. So in May of this year, while drowning in projects, a nonprofit and my business, I decided to go back to school. Not because I need to or have to– but for me.
The first kick to the face was that instead of only 3 classes, the curriculum has since changed and now there were 7 to complete. I started with one class I knew would be a nightmare for me and then took two this last semester.
Y’all. When I say I am drowning, I am not being overdramatic. I. Am. Drowning. School has been taking at least 20+ hours a week.
I have had to make sacrifices with my social life and with my QT time with the hubs. I say no to meetings and catch ups that don’t directly serve my business or any projects I am working on. I have taken travel off the table and have completely changed my schedule so that I work more from home now rather than the office. I have hired an amazing angel to help me manage my priorities. I have stopped cooking dinner every night and leaned on a combo of meal prep companies and pre-packaged stuff.
And you know what? The past 4 months have been really fucking hard and I still have 4 more months to go. There have been days where I have sat down to write not one, but two papers and could just feel every damn fiber of my being screaming, I DON’T WANNA!! In those moments I couldn’t wrap my mind around how in the world I’d be able to get them done. But somehow I did and somehow I’ve managed to get all A’s.
I am fortunate that my husband and I have built so much mutual support and understanding into our relationship, especially since he is currently in school as well. I am grateful that I have an incredible employee who I don’t need to handhold and can trust implicitly.
I am in a season of life where I am so incredibly exhausted and I am working and grinding on so many things. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I am already so proud of what I’ve accomplished this year so far. I just have to keep going.
If you are in a similar spot, just know that you are not alone and this will not last forever. Even if it feels like you are only moving forward inches, I promise you’re still making progress.
Big hugs babes,
Read the next installment of Self-Love Sunday here.